Couldn't figure out how to make a list so this was my alternative. Sorry you'll have to copy and paste it in the web address box if you want to follow them. Or another possibility is to highlight the whole text of a blog, right click, the click on open link and it will take you right to their blog.
http://brightonfamilyrelations.blogspot.com
http://theivieplace.blogspot.com
http://sunny-mayrae.blogspot.com/
http://guesswhatilearnedrecently.blogspot.com/
http://maddiesfamilyrelations.blogspot.com
http://familyrelationsclass.blogspot.com/
http://beccaard.blogspot.com/
jenniferfullmer.weebly.com
http://madisenb-fam.blogspot.com/
jadeebuck.blogspot.com
http://jaclynkeenerthefamily.blogspot.com/
http://mrsadelgado.blogspot.com
http://schleg-family160.blogspot.com/
http://jillybeanthoughts.blogspot.com/
http://cherise-larsen-family160.bl
http://mysarang.blog.com O.K that is my blog
http://marriagefamilylove.blogspot.com/
http://tahshenawoods.weebly.com/
http://nicole-family160.blogspot.com/
laviedunefamille.blogspot.com
http://insightsonfamilyrelationships.blogspot.com/
http://nancysniche.weebly.com/
http://family160.blogspot.com/
http://emilyknowles-family.blogspot.com/
http://kaleebarrott.blogspot.com/
http://faml160-mattie-cox.blogspot.com/
http://alexandra-faml160.blogspot.com/
http://bradford-faml160.blogspot.com
http://justinjohnsonfaml160.blogspot.com/
http://theshiptothepromisedland.blogspot.com/
http://my-wilde-life.blogspot.com/
http://camifam160.blogspot.com/
http://noellefam160.blogspot.com
http://ronchatonch.blogspot.com/
http://[email protected]
http://lynniefam160.blogspot.com/
http://cwoolbert.blogspot.com/
http://feliciasfamily160blog.blogspot.com
http://obfamrel.blogspot.com
http://the411onfamilyrelations160.blogspot.com/
http://bhbrinkerhoff.blogspot.com/
http://kfamily160.weebly.com
http://thedunbarsblog.blogspot.com/
http://marriagelovefamilybyui.blogspot.com/
http://sealedtogether.blogspot.com/
http://thinkingaboutfamilies.blogspot.com/
http://caitlin-fam160.blogspot.com
http://aimeekfamilyrelations160.blogspot.com/
http://nml-family160.blogspot.com/
http://uniquely-united-families.blogspot.com/
http://justinhandy.blogspot.com/
http://monicahoggan2011.blogspot
http://benjaminblood.blogspot.com/
http://paigeblood.blogspot.com/
anwalton.weebly.com
http://amelia-family-relations.blogspot.com/
http://nicole-family160.blogspot.com/
http://bradford-faml160.blogspot.com The site
http://brightonfamilyrelations.blogspot.com
http://theivieplace.blogspot.com
http://sunny-mayrae.blogspot.com/
http://guesswhatilearnedrecently.blogspot.com/
http://maddiesfamilyrelations.blogspot.com
http://familyrelationsclass.blogspot.com/
http://beccaard.blogspot.com/
jenniferfullmer.weebly.com
http://madisenb-fam.blogspot.com/
jadeebuck.blogspot.com
http://jaclynkeenerthefamily.blogspot.com/
http://mrsadelgado.blogspot.com
http://schleg-family160.blogspot.com/
http://jillybeanthoughts.blogspot.com/
http://cherise-larsen-family160.bl
http://mysarang.blog.com O.K that is my blog
http://marriagefamilylove.blogspot.com/
http://tahshenawoods.weebly.com/
http://nicole-family160.blogspot.com/
laviedunefamille.blogspot.com
http://insightsonfamilyrelationships.blogspot.com/
http://nancysniche.weebly.com/
http://family160.blogspot.com/
http://emilyknowles-family.blogspot.com/
http://kaleebarrott.blogspot.com/
http://faml160-mattie-cox.blogspot.com/
http://alexandra-faml160.blogspot.com/
http://bradford-faml160.blogspot.com
http://justinjohnsonfaml160.blogspot.com/
http://theshiptothepromisedland.blogspot.com/
http://my-wilde-life.blogspot.com/
http://camifam160.blogspot.com/
http://noellefam160.blogspot.com
http://ronchatonch.blogspot.com/
http://[email protected]
http://lynniefam160.blogspot.com/
http://cwoolbert.blogspot.com/
http://feliciasfamily160blog.blogspot.com
http://obfamrel.blogspot.com
http://the411onfamilyrelations160.blogspot.com/
http://bhbrinkerhoff.blogspot.com/
http://kfamily160.weebly.com
http://thedunbarsblog.blogspot.com/
http://marriagelovefamilybyui.blogspot.com/
http://sealedtogether.blogspot.com/
http://thinkingaboutfamilies.blogspot.com/
http://caitlin-fam160.blogspot.com
http://aimeekfamilyrelations160.blogspot.com/
http://nml-family160.blogspot.com/
http://uniquely-united-families.blogspot.com/
http://justinhandy.blogspot.com/
http://monicahoggan2011.blogspot
http://benjaminblood.blogspot.com/
http://paigeblood.blogspot.com/
anwalton.weebly.com
http://amelia-family-relations.blogspot.com/
http://nicole-family160.blogspot.com/
http://bradford-faml160.blogspot.com The site
Week of 9/19/11 - 9/23/11
Ok so this whole blog thing is very confusing for me since I've never done it before. It's more frustrating than anything. I could not figure out how to do the following other blog thing so I made a list on the other side so that people could copy and paste it in the web address box to still go to the other blogs.
I also put in a comment box if you really feel the need to comment on anything.
So about myself so that you know who I am. My name is Jennifer Fullmer. I've always gone by Jenny though and there's a silly little story to it. There was always another Jennifer in all my classes growing up. When the teacher asked us who wanted to be Jennifer and who wanted to be Jenny to make it easier on the class, the other Jennifer would ALWAYS have to go by Jennifer. I really didn't care. So people usually call me Jenny. But I will respond to pretty much any name you want to call me. Doesn't have to be Jenny. I am the middle child of 5 girls. But the most loved;) I grew up in Seattle and absolutely love it there! I am taking this class as part of a child development cluster and I will be graduating this December!!! Can't wait! Except for the whole growing up part and starting to pay off my loans. Anyway, I am excited for this class to learn about the different concepts that relate to the family and how it has/can/will effect me. I am also glad that we will be talking about subjects that as a Mormon culture we tend to shy away from. I want to be able to learn about the more controversial topics to better understand them. But we can talk about these topics in a non-hostile environment and talk about them from a church stand point. Well that's it until next week!
~Jenny
Week of 9/26/11 - 9/30/11
I am writing my blog today because I will not be in class on Wednesday and we will not be having class on Friday.
I thought it was interesting talking about the different Family theories. To me theories in general are just weird. Not because they are theories, but because those who have "created" them only believe in that theory. They are extremists. To me, life is a combination of a very wide range of theories. Not just one or two. Believing in just one "right theory" doesn't make sense because there are flaws in each theory; which is why it is just a theory.
When we were talking about Systems Theory, I had no idea how many possible subsets in my family there was. I come from a family of my parents and 4 sisters. During the activity of making subsets of our own family, I could come up with over 40 just within my immediate family. Which didn't include my 2 brother-in-laws or 2 nephews. It amazed me that there could be so many in my family that I had never thought of before.
Exchange Theory was very interesting to me. I find that (and hate to admit it) I have a tendency to be in line with this theory a lot. Either I am wanting more than I give out, or the opposite. I give more than is handed back. I believe it is human nature for us to want more than we give. This is where the gospel comes into aspect and becoming more like Christ and including charity and good works trying to become more Christ-like and not the natural man.
~Jenny
Week of 10/3/11 - 10/7/11
There were a few things this week that I found interesting. One of the subjects that I found interesting was cultural diversity and the different affects that can come with that. Usually when we think of cultural diversity we think of race. But in reality there are a lot of different aspects than just race. In class when we were talking one of the subjects that I brought up was the different cultures within your own culture. For example in "Mormonism" there are differences. I grew up in a non-Mormon community, which differs from someone who grew up in a highly populated Mormon city. The way we grew up is very different from one another. The mormon cultures in which we grew up are going to be different too even though we are from the same faith.
Besides just talking about the differences, we also talked about how when going to a different culture can be frustrating at times. When you do not know the culture you are going into, it is hard to assimilate and understand all of the differences.But on the flip side, being in a culture and having someone from another culture come in can be just as frustrating. I have a roommate who is from another culture and it is highly frustrating because she's been in this country for a few years but still resists the culture. She comes off snobbish and "I'm better than you" attitude.
Another subject that we talked about this week was marriage and the family. I found it interesting that in a marriage finances are a lot better than outside of a marriage; either because of a divorce or not being married yet. It makes sense though because you have shared resources. Be it money, food, cars, home, etc...the list can go on and on.
~Jenny
Week of 10/10/11 - 10/14/11
Talking about gender roles was pretty interesting this week. Growing up, I always thought it was normal for the mom to stay home and be the homemaker, while the dad goes to work to provide for the family. Even among my non-Mormon friends this seemed to be the case; maybe because I wasn't fully aware of what was going on around me. Throughout junior high and high school, I knew that this wasn't the case for all families. Not because of a feminist issue, but because of how things had worked out for them.
Watching the gender role video highly frustrated me. I have never been considered a feminist. Yeah I'm more tomboy than most girls who want to be a mom and homemaker when they are married and have kids, but that doesn't mean that I don't have the same values as them. I wanted to smack the ladies in the movie. Yeah we need to be treated equally, but that doesn't mean we can do the same things that men can do. When they were talking about firefighters, one lady commented that she, as a tax payer, would rather be carried on a man's shoulder than dragged out by the ankles because a female was allowed to be a firefighter by taking an easier physical test. The feminist lawyer said that it was safer to be dragged by the feet because of smoke inhalation. I don't think she understood the idea of being dragged down a stair case where you are going to break your neck or back...If we are going to be treated equally, than we need to have the same kinda of tests required to do any job. Equal means the same.
~Jennifer
Week of 10/17/11 - 10/21/11
This week has been pretty interesting. There were a lot of things that I could compare this week's material to in my own life. For example, when we were talking about cohabiting, I was able to compare and contrast to those that I have known who have cohabited. My friends were high school sweethearts and date all together for ten years before they were married. They had decided sometime in between to get an apartment together before they got married and probably lived together for 3-5yrs. They have been married now for about 2yrs. Interesting to me though is that they do not fit the norm of cohabiting. By this point most couples who cohabit would not be where they are at. They have one of the best marriages I have seen in my friends who are married. They are committed to one another and have always had a sense of togetherness rather than two individuals living together. Not condoning what they did, but they can show what being married and in a relationship is about. It is about being selfless and becoming one. Even those who do get married the "proper" way can sometimes struggle with this and need to learn that they are not done dating once they get married. Something that I want to do with my future spouse is have a date night. Even with boyfriends I have done this. We had at least one day a week where we did something that was planned and not just hanging out.
To go along with this subject, is those who get married within a few months of knowing each other. I had an experience with one of my boyfriends that will forever change my outlook and how I approach dating someone steadily. I had known this guy before we were dating (he was after all my best friend's brother in law) We started talking and hanging out. After awhile we began to date. Things hadn't gone the way he planned and we eventually broke up after a couple of months. Now with some people, they believe that they know everything there is about their loved one after a few months. Well I can tell you that it is not true. Once I broke up with him, his true colors came out about how he acted when things weren't in his control. It also wasn't until about a year later that I had found out some pretty crucial information about him that was heart breaking and unbelievable. Needless to say I dodge a REALLY big bullet. If I hadn't listened to my gut instincts and break up with him, I would possibly be going through a sloppy divorce. All because I didn't know who he really was until a year after I had date him.
~Jenny
Week of 10/24/11 - 10/28/11
There were some pretty interesting subjects in class this week. The first one I want to talk about is birth order. I am the third child of 5. When we talked about what the different normal birth order characteristics were, I was able to compare them to my family. There were some characteristics that did match, but others did not. I would be interesting if my family could be studied and see the results of what scientists would find with my family and if we fit the "norm."
The second subject that I want to talk about is transitions into marriage. Although I am not married, I can compare what I know to what I see with my friends. I liked the story of Bro. Williams' wife engaging him when "they" were pregnant. Not just her. It was both parents that were pregnant together. Not just the mother. Although physically yes she is the one that is pregnant, pregnancy is a change for both people and not just one parent. When we talked about not getting caught in the trivial things, this made me think about my life and how much of a perfectionist that I am. I know that I am not ready to get married because as of right now I am too selfish. I am not ready to settle down with someone and compromise some of the things that may or may not be a big to me. I can't be in a marriage when I still want everything my way and not think about what my spouse wants too.
One last thing that I want to talk about is what Bro. Williams said about it should be you and your husband in the delivery room. I do believe this, but there are a few instances where it is hard for me not to want to be there or have someone else in there. If I was pregnant, the first person I would go to would be my mom for advice. (of course my husband would be first to know though) Whenever I am going through a body change, I go to my mom because she has experienced it also. Whenever I am in pain, I also want my mom there because she comforts me. So being in the delivery room I might want my mom there because of the pain. Although, I would just have her wait out in the living room (most likely). I believe that when I am married that I will be able to go to my husband for that comfort and have him take that place. Now from a friends stand point, I just found out that my best friend is pregnant. I am as happy as can be for her and can't wait for the little gummy bear to come to the world. That is something that I want to be there for her every step that I can be. It is probably a good thing that I will not be in town when she is having the baby because I would probably want to be there for her in the delivery room. It would be hard for me to stay out because I want to share with her what she is going through. But I need to know where I belong when she is going through that. Yes I can be at the hospital when she is having the baby, but it is her and her husband who are having this baby and need to share that moment together as a couple. Especially this being their first baby.
~Jenny
Week of 10/31/11 - 11/4/11
This week was pretty interesting. Not going to lie it was pretty entertaining to watch Brother Williams squirm about the topic of sexuality. l understand though why he was a bit squeamish to talk about this subject in our classroom setting It is a taboo topic in our culture. I feel that it is also hard to talk about because he doesn't want to overstep his boundaries with those who are married and those who are not.
It was interesting discussing the four steps of sexuality. I had no idea that there was four steps. Excitement, plateau, and orgasm, and resolution. I totally agree that emotions need to be there for the woman to have sex. Even to kiss somebody, there needs to be an emotional connection. Everyone at school talks about "NCMO's,"which is a none committal make-out for those who don't know. Yeah it's nice to kiss somebody, but as a girl I find it hard to make-out with someone without liking them in a way that I do want to be in a relationship with. To each their own, but I don't want to kiss someone to just kiss. There needs to be an emotional connection.
Another thing that was brought up in class was the analogy to bank fraud with committing a transgression. One of the other students said that in order to commit fraud there needs to be 3 things present. Opportunity, incentive, and rationalization. I believe that this is true with committing a transgression of the sexual relation in marriage. There needs to be an opportunity for it to happen. For example if we put our self in a situation the opportunity can arise, if we don't have incentive or the rationalization it wont happen. If we can get rid of all three of those, then the temptation to commit a marital fraud will be gone.
~Jenny
Week of 11/7/11 - 11/11/11
This week we have been talking about family crisis. When we were asked to come up with ten different crisis', it was hard for me to think of ten that my family has gone through. Don't get me wrong, my family has it's trials. But the trials I did come up with weren't the I'd be better off with this happening to me. My family has gone through some trials were other family usually draw apart. One of the things that I learned about my family this week is that through our trials, we usually pull together and become stronger because of it. The most recent trial I can think of that we went through was when a tree fell on my family's house this March. It even happened on my dad's birthday. We were having a wind storm, when all of the sudden I was woken up by a huge crash. A tree from our neighbors yard (the farthest corner from us) had crashed into the house. The tree completely destroyed my parents bedroom but had landed in the middle of me, my mom, and sister. If it had been a normal morning I would have had to drag my mom out of her bedroom and perform CPR on her. All of our neighbors responded and made sure we were ok. They had also called the fire department. Our next door neighbor whose tree it was, was completely mortified. We kept reassuring him that everything was ok. We were all safe and our insurance was taking care of everything. He didn't need to feel bad because things like this happen all the time and they are out of our control. Our family was able to pull together and be thankful for what didn't happen instead of blaming it on our neighbor. And now, our house is better than it was before. Because we had asbestos in our ceilings my mom got new ceiling and carpeting. Which she has wanted since as long as we moved there. Everything turned out for the better. It makes me thankful that my family can draw on the important things of life rather than the material things.
Week of 11/14/11 - 11/18/11
I loved what we talked about in class today. Communication is a place where i feel we all struggle with, but it's something we use every day. There are different protocols and codes to each system that you talk with. Be it friends, roommates, family, significant others, etc. I find it very interesting but true that only 14% of our communication is words, whereas tones are 35% and non-verbal is 51%. When having a conversation with someone you always look for those other clues of what they're trying to get across as their message.
Each system that I belong to, including non-family ones, each have their own way of communicating. If I do not tune into those cues and know the codes/protocols, I'm going to be lost when trying to communicate with them. There are some things that are acceptable in one communication, where in another they are highly inappropriate.
Although communication is something that is very useful, the misuse or non-use of it can be demising to our culture. I had one relationship that was fairly good. But it failed because of us not communicating with each other. We never talked about issues that couples should talk about. We just kept things to ourselves and eventually it blew up for the both of us causing us to break up. On the flip side of that, we are now best friends. We talk about everything with each other now. We even talk about the issues we had when we were dating and why it didn't workout. We realized our failure in communication and were able to fix the problems we had as a couple and turn it into a great relationship between us. We aren't perfect in our communication, but we have fixed the major gaps.
~Jenny
Thanksgiving Week
Today we talked about money. "Money is the root of all evil." This is a quote I have heard many times throughout my life. After talking about how almost 80% some odd percent of divorces are money related, it is not hard to see that money is the root of all evil. It has destroyed so many relationships and families. I love the church's booklet on money and believe that it has really good information for those who want to stay on a good path with money. I really like the budget and paying off bills. It will help you succeed in finishing off loans and other bills sooner.
Week of 11/28/11 - 12/2/11
One of the things that struck me the most in class this week was comparing our relationship with God to that of our parents. We talked about those who feared their parents also feared God. That almost everyone will see similarities about how they view their parents with how they view God. For me this rings pretty true. I used to see me parents as Authoritarian kind of parents growing up, but then soon came to realize that they let me make my own decision after they have taught me the gospel. They'll love me with the decisions I've made, but not always support them. No matter how far I stray, my parents will still love me and be there for me when I have decided to come back. This is how I view God too. He lets me make my own decisions based on the knowledge I have. He is there for me no matter what and comforts me in time of need. Although He wont rescue me in all the wrong that I have done, He will help me see the light and guide me back to where I need to be. I feel for those who view God in a hard way because of how they were raised by their parents. It's not hard to blame them those because all that they have to relate to God is their parents. It is our job as parents to portray the way we want our children to see God so that they can have a loving relationship with not only us, but God also.
~Jenny
Week of 12/5/11 - 12/9/11
Well this is the last blog for this class! Today we discussed divorce and separation and the effects it can have on a family. There are a lot of different ways that divorce can be caused, and once people start to entertain the thought of it while they are having problems within their marriage, it becomes a way out for them. Although I knew that there were many causes for divorce, I didn't realize that there were 6 different stages of divorce. I guess I just lumped all of the stages together, rather than into separate stages. Divorce is very difficult, but becomes more difficult when there are children involved. If there are children involved, the whole family subset becomes very skewed because of all the pulling factors. Not only do you have to worry about the subset that once ways, new subsets are created because of the split. Grandparents/aunts/uncles now become part of a new family and can cause tension on that family. When we tried to plot out some of the different subsets on the board with a divorced family, it became messy and a headache. I believe that while we are single we need to prepare to prevent a divorce within our future family and keep preparing and preventing while we are in our family.
Ok so this whole blog thing is very confusing for me since I've never done it before. It's more frustrating than anything. I could not figure out how to do the following other blog thing so I made a list on the other side so that people could copy and paste it in the web address box to still go to the other blogs.
I also put in a comment box if you really feel the need to comment on anything.
So about myself so that you know who I am. My name is Jennifer Fullmer. I've always gone by Jenny though and there's a silly little story to it. There was always another Jennifer in all my classes growing up. When the teacher asked us who wanted to be Jennifer and who wanted to be Jenny to make it easier on the class, the other Jennifer would ALWAYS have to go by Jennifer. I really didn't care. So people usually call me Jenny. But I will respond to pretty much any name you want to call me. Doesn't have to be Jenny. I am the middle child of 5 girls. But the most loved;) I grew up in Seattle and absolutely love it there! I am taking this class as part of a child development cluster and I will be graduating this December!!! Can't wait! Except for the whole growing up part and starting to pay off my loans. Anyway, I am excited for this class to learn about the different concepts that relate to the family and how it has/can/will effect me. I am also glad that we will be talking about subjects that as a Mormon culture we tend to shy away from. I want to be able to learn about the more controversial topics to better understand them. But we can talk about these topics in a non-hostile environment and talk about them from a church stand point. Well that's it until next week!
~Jenny
Week of 9/26/11 - 9/30/11
I am writing my blog today because I will not be in class on Wednesday and we will not be having class on Friday.
I thought it was interesting talking about the different Family theories. To me theories in general are just weird. Not because they are theories, but because those who have "created" them only believe in that theory. They are extremists. To me, life is a combination of a very wide range of theories. Not just one or two. Believing in just one "right theory" doesn't make sense because there are flaws in each theory; which is why it is just a theory.
When we were talking about Systems Theory, I had no idea how many possible subsets in my family there was. I come from a family of my parents and 4 sisters. During the activity of making subsets of our own family, I could come up with over 40 just within my immediate family. Which didn't include my 2 brother-in-laws or 2 nephews. It amazed me that there could be so many in my family that I had never thought of before.
Exchange Theory was very interesting to me. I find that (and hate to admit it) I have a tendency to be in line with this theory a lot. Either I am wanting more than I give out, or the opposite. I give more than is handed back. I believe it is human nature for us to want more than we give. This is where the gospel comes into aspect and becoming more like Christ and including charity and good works trying to become more Christ-like and not the natural man.
~Jenny
Week of 10/3/11 - 10/7/11
There were a few things this week that I found interesting. One of the subjects that I found interesting was cultural diversity and the different affects that can come with that. Usually when we think of cultural diversity we think of race. But in reality there are a lot of different aspects than just race. In class when we were talking one of the subjects that I brought up was the different cultures within your own culture. For example in "Mormonism" there are differences. I grew up in a non-Mormon community, which differs from someone who grew up in a highly populated Mormon city. The way we grew up is very different from one another. The mormon cultures in which we grew up are going to be different too even though we are from the same faith.
Besides just talking about the differences, we also talked about how when going to a different culture can be frustrating at times. When you do not know the culture you are going into, it is hard to assimilate and understand all of the differences.But on the flip side, being in a culture and having someone from another culture come in can be just as frustrating. I have a roommate who is from another culture and it is highly frustrating because she's been in this country for a few years but still resists the culture. She comes off snobbish and "I'm better than you" attitude.
Another subject that we talked about this week was marriage and the family. I found it interesting that in a marriage finances are a lot better than outside of a marriage; either because of a divorce or not being married yet. It makes sense though because you have shared resources. Be it money, food, cars, home, etc...the list can go on and on.
~Jenny
Week of 10/10/11 - 10/14/11
Talking about gender roles was pretty interesting this week. Growing up, I always thought it was normal for the mom to stay home and be the homemaker, while the dad goes to work to provide for the family. Even among my non-Mormon friends this seemed to be the case; maybe because I wasn't fully aware of what was going on around me. Throughout junior high and high school, I knew that this wasn't the case for all families. Not because of a feminist issue, but because of how things had worked out for them.
Watching the gender role video highly frustrated me. I have never been considered a feminist. Yeah I'm more tomboy than most girls who want to be a mom and homemaker when they are married and have kids, but that doesn't mean that I don't have the same values as them. I wanted to smack the ladies in the movie. Yeah we need to be treated equally, but that doesn't mean we can do the same things that men can do. When they were talking about firefighters, one lady commented that she, as a tax payer, would rather be carried on a man's shoulder than dragged out by the ankles because a female was allowed to be a firefighter by taking an easier physical test. The feminist lawyer said that it was safer to be dragged by the feet because of smoke inhalation. I don't think she understood the idea of being dragged down a stair case where you are going to break your neck or back...If we are going to be treated equally, than we need to have the same kinda of tests required to do any job. Equal means the same.
~Jennifer
Week of 10/17/11 - 10/21/11
This week has been pretty interesting. There were a lot of things that I could compare this week's material to in my own life. For example, when we were talking about cohabiting, I was able to compare and contrast to those that I have known who have cohabited. My friends were high school sweethearts and date all together for ten years before they were married. They had decided sometime in between to get an apartment together before they got married and probably lived together for 3-5yrs. They have been married now for about 2yrs. Interesting to me though is that they do not fit the norm of cohabiting. By this point most couples who cohabit would not be where they are at. They have one of the best marriages I have seen in my friends who are married. They are committed to one another and have always had a sense of togetherness rather than two individuals living together. Not condoning what they did, but they can show what being married and in a relationship is about. It is about being selfless and becoming one. Even those who do get married the "proper" way can sometimes struggle with this and need to learn that they are not done dating once they get married. Something that I want to do with my future spouse is have a date night. Even with boyfriends I have done this. We had at least one day a week where we did something that was planned and not just hanging out.
To go along with this subject, is those who get married within a few months of knowing each other. I had an experience with one of my boyfriends that will forever change my outlook and how I approach dating someone steadily. I had known this guy before we were dating (he was after all my best friend's brother in law) We started talking and hanging out. After awhile we began to date. Things hadn't gone the way he planned and we eventually broke up after a couple of months. Now with some people, they believe that they know everything there is about their loved one after a few months. Well I can tell you that it is not true. Once I broke up with him, his true colors came out about how he acted when things weren't in his control. It also wasn't until about a year later that I had found out some pretty crucial information about him that was heart breaking and unbelievable. Needless to say I dodge a REALLY big bullet. If I hadn't listened to my gut instincts and break up with him, I would possibly be going through a sloppy divorce. All because I didn't know who he really was until a year after I had date him.
~Jenny
Week of 10/24/11 - 10/28/11
There were some pretty interesting subjects in class this week. The first one I want to talk about is birth order. I am the third child of 5. When we talked about what the different normal birth order characteristics were, I was able to compare them to my family. There were some characteristics that did match, but others did not. I would be interesting if my family could be studied and see the results of what scientists would find with my family and if we fit the "norm."
The second subject that I want to talk about is transitions into marriage. Although I am not married, I can compare what I know to what I see with my friends. I liked the story of Bro. Williams' wife engaging him when "they" were pregnant. Not just her. It was both parents that were pregnant together. Not just the mother. Although physically yes she is the one that is pregnant, pregnancy is a change for both people and not just one parent. When we talked about not getting caught in the trivial things, this made me think about my life and how much of a perfectionist that I am. I know that I am not ready to get married because as of right now I am too selfish. I am not ready to settle down with someone and compromise some of the things that may or may not be a big to me. I can't be in a marriage when I still want everything my way and not think about what my spouse wants too.
One last thing that I want to talk about is what Bro. Williams said about it should be you and your husband in the delivery room. I do believe this, but there are a few instances where it is hard for me not to want to be there or have someone else in there. If I was pregnant, the first person I would go to would be my mom for advice. (of course my husband would be first to know though) Whenever I am going through a body change, I go to my mom because she has experienced it also. Whenever I am in pain, I also want my mom there because she comforts me. So being in the delivery room I might want my mom there because of the pain. Although, I would just have her wait out in the living room (most likely). I believe that when I am married that I will be able to go to my husband for that comfort and have him take that place. Now from a friends stand point, I just found out that my best friend is pregnant. I am as happy as can be for her and can't wait for the little gummy bear to come to the world. That is something that I want to be there for her every step that I can be. It is probably a good thing that I will not be in town when she is having the baby because I would probably want to be there for her in the delivery room. It would be hard for me to stay out because I want to share with her what she is going through. But I need to know where I belong when she is going through that. Yes I can be at the hospital when she is having the baby, but it is her and her husband who are having this baby and need to share that moment together as a couple. Especially this being their first baby.
~Jenny
Week of 10/31/11 - 11/4/11
This week was pretty interesting. Not going to lie it was pretty entertaining to watch Brother Williams squirm about the topic of sexuality. l understand though why he was a bit squeamish to talk about this subject in our classroom setting It is a taboo topic in our culture. I feel that it is also hard to talk about because he doesn't want to overstep his boundaries with those who are married and those who are not.
It was interesting discussing the four steps of sexuality. I had no idea that there was four steps. Excitement, plateau, and orgasm, and resolution. I totally agree that emotions need to be there for the woman to have sex. Even to kiss somebody, there needs to be an emotional connection. Everyone at school talks about "NCMO's,"which is a none committal make-out for those who don't know. Yeah it's nice to kiss somebody, but as a girl I find it hard to make-out with someone without liking them in a way that I do want to be in a relationship with. To each their own, but I don't want to kiss someone to just kiss. There needs to be an emotional connection.
Another thing that was brought up in class was the analogy to bank fraud with committing a transgression. One of the other students said that in order to commit fraud there needs to be 3 things present. Opportunity, incentive, and rationalization. I believe that this is true with committing a transgression of the sexual relation in marriage. There needs to be an opportunity for it to happen. For example if we put our self in a situation the opportunity can arise, if we don't have incentive or the rationalization it wont happen. If we can get rid of all three of those, then the temptation to commit a marital fraud will be gone.
~Jenny
Week of 11/7/11 - 11/11/11
This week we have been talking about family crisis. When we were asked to come up with ten different crisis', it was hard for me to think of ten that my family has gone through. Don't get me wrong, my family has it's trials. But the trials I did come up with weren't the I'd be better off with this happening to me. My family has gone through some trials were other family usually draw apart. One of the things that I learned about my family this week is that through our trials, we usually pull together and become stronger because of it. The most recent trial I can think of that we went through was when a tree fell on my family's house this March. It even happened on my dad's birthday. We were having a wind storm, when all of the sudden I was woken up by a huge crash. A tree from our neighbors yard (the farthest corner from us) had crashed into the house. The tree completely destroyed my parents bedroom but had landed in the middle of me, my mom, and sister. If it had been a normal morning I would have had to drag my mom out of her bedroom and perform CPR on her. All of our neighbors responded and made sure we were ok. They had also called the fire department. Our next door neighbor whose tree it was, was completely mortified. We kept reassuring him that everything was ok. We were all safe and our insurance was taking care of everything. He didn't need to feel bad because things like this happen all the time and they are out of our control. Our family was able to pull together and be thankful for what didn't happen instead of blaming it on our neighbor. And now, our house is better than it was before. Because we had asbestos in our ceilings my mom got new ceiling and carpeting. Which she has wanted since as long as we moved there. Everything turned out for the better. It makes me thankful that my family can draw on the important things of life rather than the material things.
Week of 11/14/11 - 11/18/11
I loved what we talked about in class today. Communication is a place where i feel we all struggle with, but it's something we use every day. There are different protocols and codes to each system that you talk with. Be it friends, roommates, family, significant others, etc. I find it very interesting but true that only 14% of our communication is words, whereas tones are 35% and non-verbal is 51%. When having a conversation with someone you always look for those other clues of what they're trying to get across as their message.
Each system that I belong to, including non-family ones, each have their own way of communicating. If I do not tune into those cues and know the codes/protocols, I'm going to be lost when trying to communicate with them. There are some things that are acceptable in one communication, where in another they are highly inappropriate.
Although communication is something that is very useful, the misuse or non-use of it can be demising to our culture. I had one relationship that was fairly good. But it failed because of us not communicating with each other. We never talked about issues that couples should talk about. We just kept things to ourselves and eventually it blew up for the both of us causing us to break up. On the flip side of that, we are now best friends. We talk about everything with each other now. We even talk about the issues we had when we were dating and why it didn't workout. We realized our failure in communication and were able to fix the problems we had as a couple and turn it into a great relationship between us. We aren't perfect in our communication, but we have fixed the major gaps.
~Jenny
Thanksgiving Week
Today we talked about money. "Money is the root of all evil." This is a quote I have heard many times throughout my life. After talking about how almost 80% some odd percent of divorces are money related, it is not hard to see that money is the root of all evil. It has destroyed so many relationships and families. I love the church's booklet on money and believe that it has really good information for those who want to stay on a good path with money. I really like the budget and paying off bills. It will help you succeed in finishing off loans and other bills sooner.
Week of 11/28/11 - 12/2/11
One of the things that struck me the most in class this week was comparing our relationship with God to that of our parents. We talked about those who feared their parents also feared God. That almost everyone will see similarities about how they view their parents with how they view God. For me this rings pretty true. I used to see me parents as Authoritarian kind of parents growing up, but then soon came to realize that they let me make my own decision after they have taught me the gospel. They'll love me with the decisions I've made, but not always support them. No matter how far I stray, my parents will still love me and be there for me when I have decided to come back. This is how I view God too. He lets me make my own decisions based on the knowledge I have. He is there for me no matter what and comforts me in time of need. Although He wont rescue me in all the wrong that I have done, He will help me see the light and guide me back to where I need to be. I feel for those who view God in a hard way because of how they were raised by their parents. It's not hard to blame them those because all that they have to relate to God is their parents. It is our job as parents to portray the way we want our children to see God so that they can have a loving relationship with not only us, but God also.
~Jenny
Week of 12/5/11 - 12/9/11
Well this is the last blog for this class! Today we discussed divorce and separation and the effects it can have on a family. There are a lot of different ways that divorce can be caused, and once people start to entertain the thought of it while they are having problems within their marriage, it becomes a way out for them. Although I knew that there were many causes for divorce, I didn't realize that there were 6 different stages of divorce. I guess I just lumped all of the stages together, rather than into separate stages. Divorce is very difficult, but becomes more difficult when there are children involved. If there are children involved, the whole family subset becomes very skewed because of all the pulling factors. Not only do you have to worry about the subset that once ways, new subsets are created because of the split. Grandparents/aunts/uncles now become part of a new family and can cause tension on that family. When we tried to plot out some of the different subsets on the board with a divorced family, it became messy and a headache. I believe that while we are single we need to prepare to prevent a divorce within our future family and keep preparing and preventing while we are in our family.